


Untitled, by Sans

by thetransgirlwhoneverwas



Series: Fictober 2020 [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetransgirlwhoneverwas/pseuds/thetransgirlwhoneverwas
Summary: Papyrus wanted Sans to write a story so Sans wrote a story
Series: Fictober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952200
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	Untitled, by Sans

Once upon a time Sans decided to write a story. So he did. The end.

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “You can’t be so lazy in your writing! You have to put some effort in, or your readers will never enjoy it!”

Once upon a time there were two brothers, Sans and Papyrus. Sans was very lazy and Papyrus was always trying to motivate Sans to do more. One day Papyrus suggested Sans could write a story. So he did, and so the story had a beginning, a middle, and an end. The end.

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “That isn’t enough! You have to have an actual plot in your story!”

“There is a plot,” Sans said. “You wanted me to write a story, so I wrote a story.”

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “But what is the story about?”

“It’s about me writing a story,” said Sans.

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “There has to be a story in the story you wrote! You have to show some imagination!”

Once upon a time there were two brothers, Sans and Papyrus. Papyrus wanted to be a royal guard, and had wanted this since he had first discovered what a royal guard was. One day he decided to write a letter to Undyne, the captain of the royal guards, asking to join her ranks.

“Sans!” Papyrus wrote in his letter. “Dear Undyne, I would like to be a royal guard. I think I am qualified for the position because I can cook spaghetti very well and am very good at giving orders to my brother, which he never ignores, I promise. Please write back and tell me when I can start being a royal guard. Nyeh-heh-heh! Signed, Papyrus.”

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “I don’t start every sentence I say by saying “Sans!” all the time! You’re not even in this scene, there’s no point to me referencing you!”

So Sans rewrote the letter Papyrus wrote to not include any references to Sans.

“Dear Undyne,” Papyrus wrote in his letter. “I would like to be a royal guard. I think I am qualified for the position because I can cook spaghetti very well and am very good at giving orders to nobody, which he never ignores, I promise. Please write back and tell me when I can start being a royal guard. Nyeh-heh-heh! Signed, Papyrus.”

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “You can write me referencing you when it’s relevant in the letter!”

“Oh,” Sans said, and corrected the letter again.

“Dear Undyne,” Papyrus wrote in his letter. “I would like to be a royal guard. I think I am qualified for the position because I can cook spaghetti very well and am very good at giving orders to Sans now that he is relevant in this letter, which he never ignores, I promise. Please write back and tell me when I can start being a royal guard. Nyeh-heh-heh! Signed, Papyrus.”

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “You don’t have to point out when you’re relevant in the letter!”

So Sans corrected the letter again.

“Dear Undyne,” Papyrus wrote in his letter. “I would like to be a royal guard. I think I am qualified for the position because I can cook spaghetti very well and am very good at giving orders to Sans, which he never ignores, I promise. Please write back and tell me when I can start being a royal guard. Nyeh-heh-heh! Signed, Papyrus.”

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “That’s better.”

“Sans!” Papyrus said. “What did I say about not starting every sentence with “Sans!” just a moment ago?”

“Sorry,” Sans said.

“And you could do with showing more imagination!” Papyrus said. “Use some other descriptive words rather than the same ones over and over again!”

“Sorry,” Sans apologised, but he didn’t really mean it.

So Papyrus sent the letter to Undyne, captain of the royal guards, and waited for another letter to return. However, the writer was too lazy to think of what Undyne might have written in that letter, and so Papyrus never received a reply and his dream was never accomplished. The end.

“Sans!” Papyrus berated. “That’s a terrible ending! Nobody is going to enjoy your story if you end it in such a sad way!”

“Okay,” Sans agreed, and decided to write a better ending to the story.

After many minutes of waiting, desperate, by his mailbox, awaiting the letter that would give him what he wanted, what he needed, Papyrus began to lose a little bit of the well of hope inside him. What if Undyne never received the letter? He would never be a royal guard. What if she got the letter, wrote a reply, posted the reply in her mailbox, the reply was picked up by the postdog, the postdog walked all the way from Hotland to Snowdin, but the letter was lost along the way, and Papyrus never received the reply he so desperately needed? He would never be a royal guard. What if that little voice in the back of his mind had been right this whole time, and he wasn’t cut out to be a royal guard, and Undyne saw his letter and laughed at the very prospect of Papyrus being a royal guard, ripping up the letter and throwing it away as she did, crushing Papyrus’ hopes and dreams and destroying his very life’s ambition as casually as one takes a cool, refreshing drink of water from the water cooler on the outskirts of Hotland? He would never be a royal guard.

“Wow!” Papyrus admired. “I didn’t realise you were such a good writer Sans! Maybe I should read more of the writing I found in the place I found this story!”

“Thanks bro,” Sans replied, chuckling at the author’s blatant self-promotion and desperate plea for attention.

“I’m excited!” Papyrus couldn’t stop jumping up and down, his bones rattling. “I want to see how the story ends!”

And so Sans wrote the rest of the story and it had a very satisfying ending. The end.

“Sans!” Papyrus complained.

“I know,” Sans laughed.

After many hopeless hours spent waiting at his postbox, Papyrus finally heard a noise inside it. He opened it up to find the postdog inside, who handed him a letter, barked in excitement once, and disappeared into the back of the postbox, off to deliver more mail. Papyrus could barely contain himself as he opened the letter and read what Undyne had written:

“NGAAAH!” Undyne had written. “I agree that you would be an amazing royal guard, Papyrus! We have a real shortage of good spaghetti chefs, and anyone who can give orders as well as you can is welcome in the ranks! I hereby announce that you will be joining the ranks of the royal guards as my second-in-command as soon as you are able to! Congratulations!”

Papyrus was incredibly happy with this reply, and after thanking Sans for believing in him, he rushed off to join the royal guards and fulfil his dreams. The end.

“That was beautiful!” Papyrus complimented, wiping a tear from his eye socket. “It was such a satisfying ending and it made me very happy to read it! Well done, Sans!”

And thus the story had served its purpose. The end.

“Sans!” Papyrus asked. “Are you saying that you wrote this story just to make me happy?”

“Of course,” Sans explained. “You’re my bro.”

“You wrote this story to show how much you appreciate me?” Sans asked, wiping a tear from his other eye socket. “I appreciate you too Sans! I love you!”

“Love you too,” Sans said, in a monotonous tone of voice, but one that carried real feeling and genuine emotion.

“I’m going to make you the best spaghetti I’ve ever made to show how much I appreciate you!” Papyrus said, and dashed off to make some spaghetti.

Sans sighed in contentment.

The end.


End file.
